Dear Loving Brothers and Sisters in Christ,
Grace and peace to you.
I am very glad to see you all again. Today, I like to share with you my heartfelt painful experience, prior to my conviction to accept Him as my Savior, with you when I read the gospel of John 3 verse16 "For God so loved the world, that he gave his only begotten Son, that whosoever believe in him should not perish, but have everlasting life." I guess you know how I felt at that time. I was very angry with our Lord and claim that He is too harsh and not loving as he should be. I told myself in my heart that I cannot peruse further and I am not going to read this bible any more.
After a while, I felt that a soft hand was extended to me and His word is so softly spoken to me that said, "My son, I know how you feel, but this is the truth. I am not blaming you for doing so. But, I have spoken through My Words that there are abundance of evidences which showed the truth. How can anyone miss out, if he has his heart for me. Look at the universe, the distance between the Sun and earth, Scripture and witnesses from the past and present, who come forward to testify about my existence. After that my heart suddenly felt much lighter and I am able to see from His perspective. I immediately ask for forgiveness and He replied that He never blame me for doing so. He really knows everything I have in my heart - that makes me convinced to accept Him as my Mighty and Living God.
Since then, He has been revealed to me many times, which initially did not make sense to me. This may due to my intellectual doubts which always convey it differently for my understanding. For instance when I read about the phrase advocated by Apostle Paul - I am strong yet I am weak. Contradictory statement which I find very difficult to understand. The 'Righteous' word I heard from the sermon and bible study initially gave me the meaning of more than right, which I find confusing without any universal meaning to it.
However, one thing I do not put into waste is that He has continuously used me as His vessel to touch some lives. Praise the Lord.